Ajeet fattas (With apologies to the Hindi-impaired)
Scene - Ajeet is ordering his chela to kill the enemy.
Ajeet: "Raaaaaaaaaaaaabert iss harami ko liquid oxygen me daal do ! Liquid isey jeene nahin degaa, oxygen isey marne nahi degaa!"
Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi ho jaayega.
Raaaaaaaaaaaaabert! Is kutte ko microprocessor me daal do ! Bit by bit mur jaaye gaa saala!
Raaabatt, isko Great Wall of China le jaakar phansi mein laga do, great 'wall hanging' ban jayegi
Raaabatt, Dayna (Diana) ko thoda khatta khila do, yeh dayna se daynasour ho jayegi, phir extinct bhi...
Raabatt, isey thodi ShamePain pila do paheley Shame sey, phir pain sey mar jayegaa...
Raabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit bhi jayega
Raabatt, isey peacock poison pila do, yeh more sey no-more ho jayegaa...
Maikal, Ise Hamlet poison khilado. Sochta rahega, to be or not to be !
Maikal, Ise Pascal poison khilado. Begin se End ho jayega.
Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal do. Saale ko Society jeene nahin degi aur security marne nahin degi.
Maikal, ise liquid helium mein daal ke 440 V pass kar do. Phir yeh superconductor ban jaayega, aur zindagi bhar ticket kaat-ta reh jaayega.
Rawbert: Yeh chinee aadmi Mr. Hu bada tang kar rahaa hai. Bahut Hasaata rahta hai. Koi kaam nahin hota.
Ajeet: To phir ise goli maar do. Hu mar jaayega to humor bhi jaayega.
Ajeet: Raabart, Michael go dynamite se nahin, TNT se naheen, NTT se uda do.
Bob: (quizzically) NTT se baas?
Ajeet: Bewakoof! Tabhee to yeh NTT se non-NTT ho jayega.
Mona daarrling, tum Toni ke saath ghuumna band kar do, nahin to bahut MonaToni ho jayegee...
Ajeet: Raaabert, Harshad Mehta the Bull ka stool test karaao
Raabert: Kyon boss?
Ajeet: Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai
Scene - Ajeet spots one of his is enemies...
Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aa rahaa hai, woh hamara guest hai. Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do Phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !
Raabert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse zyaada pasand hein?
Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona
Maikal: Baaas, yeh aadmi to kuch bol hi nahin raha hai. Kya karen ?
Ajeet: Ise revaalving chair mein daal do. Pata chal jaayega chakkar kya hai.
Scene - Ajeet is worried about something. Robert is facing him.
Ajeet: Shanker kaal bahuth bada maal Versova beach per aane wala hain... pause...Tum chutti le lo.
Scene - Raabert had twins and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachchon ke liye koi naam bataiye.
Ajeet: Ek ka naam rakho Peter....
Raabert: Aur doosre ka, baas ?
Ajeet: Repeater.
Scene - This time, Raabert has triplets!
Raabert: Baass, mere teen bacche hue. Unko kya naam doon?
Ajeet: Ek ka naam rakhna Peter, doosre ka Maikal, aur teesre ka Cha Ling Chu.
Raabert: Cha Ling Chu?? Kyoon?
Ajeet: Silly boy, jaante nahiin? Duniya mein har teesra bacchaa Chinese hota hai!
Lily: Baass, mere ko twins hue. Dono ladki ke liye koi naam sugegst kijiye?
Ajeet: Verry simple. Ek ka naam rakho Kate.
Lily: Aur doosre ka?
Ajeet: Dupli-Kate!
Raabert: Boss, Sona kahan hai ? ( Where is the Gold ? )
Ajeet: Tum kahin par bhi so jao Raabert, Mujhe to Mona ke saath sona!!
Scene - Raabert brings a sidey to Ajeet.
Raabert: Baass, humne sidey ko pakad liya
Ajeet: Ise maar ke pulees station ke saamne rakh do. Aur iske kamar par ek sui chubha do.
Raabert: Par sui kyon, baass!
Ajeet: Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki sui-side hua hai!
Scene - Ajeet thoroughly disgusted with Mona Daaa..arrling's typing.
Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ?
Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.
Ajeet: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger istarrt kar do.
Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
Ajeet: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.
Ajeet: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Raabert: Yes Boss.
Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai .......
Scene - Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.
Ajeet: Peter, time bomb le aao aur is kutte ko usse bandh do. Timer ko theek das baje set kar do. Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez hamesha late karta hai. Iski maut bhi late honi chahiye. Timer ko panch minute late rakh do.
Arre, Raabert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh mat rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area hai. Ha haa ha.
Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega. Aur iska dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhadkega. Tum agar paas me khade hoge to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup' suanaai dega ...
Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
Ajeet: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padega!
Achchha! To tum actor banna chahte ho, Raabert? Dilli me jaake laal kile pe khade ho jaayo. Raabert Red-fort ban jana.
Scene - Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and water starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed !
Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajeet: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do, aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me OUT likh do. Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chala jayega !!
Scene - Ajeet get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.
Ajeet: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajeet: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range haathon pakad legi. he he he....
Scene - Raabert and Ajeet go for shikar...Raabert spots a peacock...
Raabert: Boss....more.. more...
Ajeet picks up his gun, shoots it and says...
Ajeet: Nomore !